Have you ever caught a glimpse of humanity on the edge? An unimaginable raw strength as someone is pushing through a very, very real struggle? From your position, you glimpse a troubling reality for another that is so out of your own realm, you can only sit in awe and admiration for their ability to "overcome." What pushes one over the edge, instead propels another into tapping an inner strength previously inconceivable. When most would succumb to negativity, self pity and become a victim of their circumstance, few others actually rise up. As humans, I believe there's something to the saying "fight or flight." In addition to these responses, there is stagnation and retreat. But most of us (thankfully) are never put into an experience that forces this choice. We don't have to find our "fight" for mental, emotional or physical survival. But when I sit and REALLY think about who inspires me the MOST, it is the fighters. The ones that have every right to drop, retreat and stay there, but don't. Life isn't easy or kind to them (in fact, it has been downright dirty), but they rise. They meet the challenge. They get shoved down, but they jump back in and press on. They defeat all urges to stay down, despite the constant push back. These people know they WILL make it, can't imagine a future where they won't. Even when impossible, in the moment, to see past the wall, they know innately there are better, brighter days ahead. These humans...these amazing souls... these are who INSPIRE me most. The "You Inspire Me" project is my personal endeavor to highlight some of these incredible humans. At the bottom of this blog I placed a link where you can nominate a fighter you know. If selected, I would love to honor them with a free shoot and share their story of inspiration. In the meantime, sit back...enjoy...and be inspired by my first amazing pick --Gabby.
I met Gabby when she was a sophomore in high school. This beautiful, ray-of-sunshine sat in her assigned seat in the back of my room. I was her earth science teacher that winter/spring semester. I could never have imagined this cheery, bubbly and always smiley cheerleader was tight-roping a fragile balance of fight or flight that was very quickly closing in. This was the year she would be tested far harder than ever before.
Gabby is the oldest of 4 brothers and 1 sister. She is the traditional big sister that is organized, responsible, and driven. She is in charge. She puts in all of the effort (and then some) to get straight As and plays caretaker to her siblings. If she had a wild inner child, it would irritate her and would, therefore, require suppressing (lol). She is a planner. Gabby knew her goals, would revisit and revise them constantly. She laid out all of the steps required to achieve her goals, no matter how small and detailed they were. She had a couple of very close friends that filled her inner circle and they were the ones she'd confide in. Gabby needed to be in control. Change was challenging for her. Her mind would spin until she settled back into her normal. She was honing her perfectionist character at that time. What was in store for her, was not something that would play well with these traits.
The day I discovered how good Gabby was at putting on a mask of happy & joy was the day she asked to talk to me privately in the back room of my classroom. She shared with me that she may receive a text or call from her mom during class and that she would need to take it. I learned that day that her father was suffering terribly, had been for about a year, and that he was nearing his last days. This student who masked a big smile coming into my room every. single. day. was carrying the burden of receiving a phone call that would tell her her father was passing away. This. I cried that day. I couldn't shake the thought of the weight she had been carrying and all the while conveying such a rock-steady, happy-go-lucky persona. So responsible. So controlled. Incredible.
But with that gained knowledge came sympathy. I just felt sad. I felt sorry for her and overwhelmed for her. But who was I to feel sorry when she was showing so very much strength? I worked to express empathy. I reached out and she opened up. I learned a lot about Gabby in those days. She did, indeed, have a wild inner child that she would let out in letters to me. She shared her silly side. She had a very big capacity to reflect as well. She had terrible downs and would write through them. She was much more than meets the eye to me. So much of her world was spinning out of control as she watched her father struggle to pass, her mother process and grieve, and her siblings be the normal emotional outlets they are. This girl who needed to manage all aspects of her world was being crushed by her falls. But she refused to miss school. She refused to give in. She knew to distract herself to pull out of her lows. I learned she was trying to regain some control in unhealthy ways, but she was fighting like mad to work her way around those urges. And she was only 16, just a teenager. For me, who did not carry any of this level of burden during adolescence, could not for the life of me wrap my brain around the struggle Gabby was up against daily. To me I saw strength, the will to make it. I saw falls, many, but I always found solace in her smile and letters to me. She was so strong.
Gabby's father passed that year. She did, indeed, receive that phone call and it was shockingly, delivered during my class. I knew it as soon as I saw her face. It was right in the middle of a lesson and I was right in the middle of a sentence to the class. I waved her out and within minutes found her in the bathroom. This girl who prepared for everything to the detail, received the most devastating news one could imagine. Words. Hugs. Cries.
Processing grief and picking up the devastating fall-out is hard for anyone, let alone a child. It was an impossibly tough year for Gabby. But just like ground zero, the only direction is up for a kiddo like this. She pushed onward and upward. Gabby embraced her studies. She pulled strength from her own drive to survive and leaned on the "village" she built up around her. Gabby graduated high school highest honors and took home the prestigious psychology award. She was in the throws of making and pursuing her post-secondary education, adding entrance to Franciscan University to her list. She grew stronger and stronger every day. Today, I was so excited to catch up with her. She will marry her best friend, Chris, in June next year. Just before the wedding, she will graduate with her BA in Clinical Psychology. Gabby will head out to build her family and her next ring of successes. She is happy and excited for what's to come and so am I <3.
I don't know if it was on purpose or subconscious, but Gabby had built up a very strong support system for herself in those early days of high school. Not only did she pick her closest friends wisely and confided in some family members, but the village of support she created for herself included her counselors, her coach, her family, myself and her pastors. I, too, learned even more what my role as an educator included. She leaned just enough on all of us to help her carry her incredible burdens, even just a little. She is a survivor. She is one of the strongest people I know and it brings me incredible pride to know Gabby got through the hardest years of her life. I'm sure she will still have her days, as we all do, and she will encounter future set backs too, but she has an amazing set of abilities now to empathize, trust, reflect, and dig deep. She knows how to create a support village. She did it before, she can do it again.
Today, I can't help but think about her dad. I didn't know him, but I can image how proud he must be of his beautiful girl. She is an inspiration.
Here are a couple of great songs included out of inspiration from Gabby's amazing ability to overcome. 💕❤️
Click the link below to nominate a fighter you know.
https://forms.gle/n76T1G15eY74WVVq7
Gabby is my amazing niece! There could not have been a better story written about her. She continues to amaze me in everything she does. I know my brother Tedd (her Dad) is so very proud❤️